keytoexilellence | (no subject)

From:

maleborgia

ANY/ALL? ♥ I'll reverse whatever

From:

keytoexilellence

I will have to come back to this one several times because there is A LOT. Also I haven't started my morning tea yet so we'll see how organized my thoughts will be.

There are a couple of main points that have now changed/been shifted a tiny bit about their relationship.

Alvis is so desperate for a family. It is absolutely the most important thing to her and she bends over backwards to keep it together. With all of her people from home and several other important characters leaving this past year, Al is really scrambling and is kind of holding tightly to the remaining few. It's putting a lot of pressure on them, her, and their relationships already.

With that said, it really hurt her feelings to find out that several people were avoiding her post-Avacalypse -- especially Thor and Cesare. And then to have (what she felt like) Cesare just march her back to the hospital and drop her off again was kind of the final blow. He would ask her little favors and then seemingly blow her off. Keep in mind, she's feeling mighty sensitive...

And thus the confrontation and huge relationship implosion. Alvis was devastated. She wanted to go home. Cesare was this person who was put up on such a high pedestal -- her guidance, her idol, her best friend, etc. and in her mind it was all gone. She went through every stage of grief, likely multiple times, and all just in a few days. No, it's just Camp doing this to Cesare > if I just go and apologize and promise to do better maybe we can work on things > FUCK CESARE HE'S THE WORST SELFISH ASSHOLE DIVA > maybe if I just lie here Camp will send me home > etc.

Fast forward to now and it's so unhealthy. There's this glimmer of hope and now Cesare is back to normal!! And Alvis just needs to not fuck it up!! She will do anything!! She's had a glimpse of disappointing Cesare and the downfall it can bring and she doesn't want to do that again. She's so ashamed over not being able to be a great leader like he'd hoped and a lot of her confidence is gone (for now -- I'm sure it'll return). So now their relationship is kind of defined by Al's fear over... everything... And the control Cesare has. She won't argue with him, she won't stand up for herself, and she won't do something that could potentially upset his mood shift back to "normal". And this is how Alvis think things will return to the way they were before.

I'm sure she'll slowly bounce back as well, returning to her gloriously flippant and bratty self but this is a bit of it for now!

From:

maleborgia

"Worst selfish asshole diva" works lmao

Two main things, one on Cesare's thoughts about ALVIS (THANKS AUTOCORRECT) in general right now and the other on what happened the other day. I'm having a hard time getting this totally nice and coherent on paper though so let me know if something doesn't make sense.

1) Cesare feels very responsible for what happened--yelling at Alvis, her being injured by Ava, ignoring that he was making her do something that she didn't want to do in the first place. In his mind at the time it really did seem like the best plan since he recognized that Alvis is popular and people would listen to her. If it worked out properly, Camp would be well-organized to deal with October and Alvis would come into her own. As a darker bonus, Cesare would still have a degree of control through Alvis, which is what he was trying to explain to her in his apology. Fundamentally, though, none of it would work if Alvis wasn't talented and personable and his opinion of her abilities hasn't changed. He does now recognize, however, that he can't just push her forward if she's that resistant, at least not without exercising a lot of more aggressive power and causing too much future damage. He's done with it. Alvis won't be used as a figurehead anymore. He's looking back on it now and seeing it as lazy and cowardly and thinking that instead of using Alvis he should have been inspired by her.

Because Cesare has reached the conclusion that the experiment is over (and that by extension he was wrong to have let it get as far as it did), his priorities have shifted to making it up to her. A canon parallel is how he desperately wanted to be able to give Angelo something after he almost got him killed. It's part of a larger shift in his plans for what he's going to do next in Camp--Cesare always needs something to work towards and piecing together what he has to do is what gets him out of his periods of intense withdrawal. In this particular case it was sped up a lot by first Yusuke and then Miguel who both provided a step up, if unintentionally, otherwise he'd probably not be willing to make an overture to Alvis for another few days (and it might be a lot less well-worked out).

2) Cesare's ashamed in a different way of how he lost his temper with her. He had been trying to keep a lid on things and sees it as very immature (in the sense of inexperienced and untested) that he couldn't control his rage at a very inopportune moment. While it's not the larger issue at hand, it's emblematic of the problem and therefore can be held up as the example summing up the whole. Miguel was right in that Cesare was feeling under a lot of pressure (and he can be a total ass when he's stressed) because he feels responsible for a much larger group of people than he did in the past. It's not just that he wants to keep his core CR physically safe--he wants to be able to step in and help them to do the same for anyone they feel similarly tied to. It led to some... weird maneuvering, like how he both had to fight Ava and then help Yusuke with her body and defend her when Miguel brought her up. It's a long list to cover and October is a rough month in general. Patch up Yusuke, you can't keep him from fighting but be ready to jump in as soon as he gets seriously injured; get Ava away from Miguel and Alvis, but defend her honor, hide her body, and make up a cover story that absolves Yusuke's trying to get her back by accepting blame for his disappearance; try to make sure Miguel gets to explore and meet new people as a child like he said he wanted, but don't let anything dangerous near him; you can't fight the basilisk because you have to protect Miguel who is still a child, but you have to stop it so be willing to make a weird blood pact with Felix, but you can't fully explain your reasoning behind it because you can't say it was for Miguel's sake; dear god always stop Juan from being Juan and taking on something that will get him eaten alive even though doing so will take up a chunk of attention and time... That's not to excuse how he treated her (especially since that part started well before October), but he was really running on empty when the bedninja hit and he tipped over the line.

All of that said, everything he told her when they were fighting was true and he'll stand by it. He's not ashamed of what he said, just the way that it all came out into the open and the fact that some of it had to be put out there at all. Cesare also won't exactly be handling Alvis with kid gloves, but he will be making more of an effort to be attentive (although as you pointed out that doesn't actually mean successfully listening to what she has to say). He really cares about her and her ideas about family resonate with him. That's probably the angle that she'll have the most success with.

Edited Date: 2015-10-22 04:56 pm (UTC)

The place where all are born and where all will return. A blue star.

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